1. Oh my goodness, today was amazing! They brought in a substitute to help as my assistant and having that extra support was GREAT. It made all the difference just to have another person in the room. Plus today was the day for one of the specialists to come in to work one-on-one with some of the kids, so we had lots of adults in the room, and they were adults who actually cared about the kids. Yay! So the others were helping with the one or two kids who were acting out at the time, and I actually felt like I was TEACHING and :) I still had the usually tantrums from the usual suspects, but having the other teachers there and not the judgmental eyes of my co-teacher…it felt like maybe, just maybe, the tantrums were symptoms and things that I couldn’t immediately control, and that maybe I was doing the best I could, since the other, more experienced, teachers were also struggling. Maybe it really is just that I’m a new teacher who came in at the end of the year to replace a stellar teacher who the kids had gotten to know and love over the course of the year, and maybe they’re just having a lot of trouble adjusting. I have a role to play in that—the kids have been getting a lot of mixed messages from me and from my co-teacher on behavioral expectations so of course they’re going to be acting out even more, but. I needed today a lot. It reminded me why I’m doing this, and I haven’t had that reminder in a long, long time.
2. Morbid but a story worth telling, yesterday one of the teachers brought out a doll to be played with outside. A girl decided to take on a babysitting role, but something went HORRIBLY wrong and the doll “died” and today the same girl spent all of recess digging a grave O_O KIDS. WHAT EVEN.
3. I had planning time and I actually felt like it was safe to be creative and so I worked on my bulletin board for next week. Unfortunately, the bulletin board is not at eye-level for the kids, which is just…annoying, so chances to make the bulletin board interactive are slim. I made a big construction paper school bus since next week is the last week and they are transitioning to KG. If anyone has any ideas to transform it into an interactive bulletin board, they’d be greatly appreciated!
4. I don’t know, just the entire day seemed so much free-er. I was much less focused on the “mistakes” I was making, as seen by my co-teacher, and more on, y’know, TEACHING. Loved it. Just like the kids, I am extremely affected by the unsafe emotional environment created by this woman :(
5. So on top of (or maybe because of) the anxiety I was experiencing about teaching alone today, I left all my detailed plans and other paperwork at home. *facepalm* By the time I realized this driving to work, it was too late to turn around and grab the stuff. But I managed to improvise and write up another detailed lesson plan in the morning before the kids showed up, and things went WELL. Hooray! I’m getting the routines down!
Of course, in my forgetfulness, I ended up leaving my phone at work so there’s that.
I realize that my mood is far too dependent on external factors and I need to work on that badly but for now, :)